If I Were SBC President

TOP TEN Things I Would Do If I Were President of the Southern Baptist Convention

10. Pinch myself.

9. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: As President of the SBC, I must go on record as stating “Even though my hair doesn’t have the luster of Wade Burleson’s, I’m just not mad about it.”

8. Create a Daily Blog entitled- Preachers Gone Wild

7. Prepare for distribution at San Antonio- “My Favorite Salsa and Hot Relish Recipes.”

6. Urge the abbreviation ADM (Associational Directors of Missions) be changed to GWSJBDGEC (Guys who serve Jesus but Don’t Get Enough Credit)

5. Resolve to never use the phrase “My Dear Sweet Brother...”

4. Appoint Wade Burleson to the “Whispering” Bill Anderson Chair of Country Music at Midwestern Seminary

3. Recommend Renaming Discipleship Program to: The Small Cell Bible Study Discussion Group in Homes or at Church or in a Coffee Shop Training Union

2. CP Bucks- Reward Churches who give to Cooperative Program with Gift Certificates redeemable at Kentucky Fried Chicken on a $50 to $1 ratio.

1. I’m going to Disney World!!