Alternatives to the Traditional Thanksgiving Meal

10. Turkey Bologna Lasagna served with a Cranberry Spinach Dip. Drink: Two Raw Eggs seasoned with a dash of Olive Oil.
9. Turkey Ham Croquettes covered with Honey Mustard Butter. To Drink: a lemon-lime sports drink with a splash of Sodium Free Tomato Juice.
8. Super-Sized Cajun Pepper Chicken Sandwich Combo with a Diet Coke.
7. Deep Fried Twinkies, Smoked Italian Sausage, and Broiled Banana Creamed Moon Pies. Beverage: Royal Crown Cola or any Faygo Brand Soda.
6. Fig Newtons dipped in White Chocolate and "chased" with a Strawberry Yahoo warmed over an open fire.
5. One Word: Ramen Noodles
4. Pecan Crusted Trout, Pecan Crusted Green Beans, and Pecan Crusted Pecan Pie. Drink: A Pecan Crusted Glass filled with your favorite Laxative.
3. A Spam Omelet smothered with a cranberry sauce served on a bed of a green beans wrapped in black pepper bacon. Drink: A Pepto Bismol Smoothie.
2. Deep Fried Beer-Battered Meatloaf, Fri tos "Scoop" Corn Chips, Bean Dip, and Iced Goat Milk.
1. My Favorite: Can You Spell K.F.C.