How Many Baptists Does it Take...

Question: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: 117. Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force Subcommittee, who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Committee on Committees. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Properties Committee of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 member Church Council, who appoint another 12 member review committee. If they recommend that the Task Force proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another 8 member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a light bulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Deacons, who in turn appoint a 7 member committee to find the best price in new light bulbs. Their recommendation of which Hardware Store has the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23 member Constitution and Bylaws Committee to make certain that chosen hardware store has no connection to Disney. They report back to the Properties Committee who, then commissions the Personnel Committee of 8 in charge of the janitor to ask him to make the change. When the janitor is told to change the bulb, he informs the Committee that he has discovered that another light bulb has burned out. After conferring with the Light Bulb Task Force Subcommittee, the janitor was informed to delay the changing of the original light bulb until the next budget year, since it will be more economical and time efficient to consolidate the two requests. However, the request must follow the same process as the original request.